My Favorite Things
- A Musical Parody For The Older Generation!

This variation of ' My Favorite Things ' is very entertaining, but no one is sure when this musical parody appeared. Many articles say that Julie Andrews wrote and performed it herself, but that would have been impossible for a few reasons….

Firstly, Julie Andrews did not perform at Radio City Music Hall in 2004, when some have claimed she did. Secondly, Julie Andrews lost her singing voice after her surgery went wrong in 1997, and has barely sung in public since.

The lyrics are very clever, and my husband and I were actually asked to sing this variation of 'My Favorite Things' at our friend’s 50th birthday party. To save us any more embarrassment (we were already dressed up in our nun’s outfits!), we handed out copies of this song so everyone could join in and sing along too. Here it is:

My Favorite Things – A Parody

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts ,and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache,
When the hips break,
And the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

If , as I suspect, you prefer the original Oscar Hammerstein lyrics, you can find them here.

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